Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Help for Living with a Narcissist

  I am excited! Recently I was looking for someone online and stumbled onto the website of Kim and Steve Cooper. They are an amazing couple who has faced their own issues with narcissism, healed their marriage, and gone public with it. What courage!
  It began when Kim discovered she was married to someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The therapist told her there was no hope, no cure, and to get out of the marriage. The information was devastating, partly because they had three children, but she didn't believe in her heart that leaving was the right thing to do.
  She began searching for information on NPD, and much of it was discouraging, but in the process she came up with a simple (not to be confused with easy) approach to healing her marriage. Today, years later, their marriage is happy, and Steve works along side her, helping others heal marriages with narcissistic partners. It's an amazing story, showing that there is hope for a large segment of people who had been deemed unhelpable.
  Narcissists aren't evil people, they are wounded people. The trauma usually happens before the age of four, and the recipient begins to believe that people are not safe, closing down emotion and relationships for anything other than superficial exchanges. NPD's can function very well in careers, but in close relationships they can be impossible (not knowing that this is how they function or that they have decided people aren't safe.) They don't trust. Attachment is extremely difficult. They will insist on their way, they delete positive comments, they often escalate arguments into abuse because of young reactive emotions, and they are easily hurt. Also, nothing is ever their fault. They are professional blamers.
  If this is a description of your partner, visit Kim and Steve's website www.narcissismcured.com and check out their resources. This is good stuff. Thanks for your vulnerability, Kim and Steve, and for turning a painful thing into healing for so many.

No comments:

Post a Comment