Even writing that feels weird. Wonder how I'll feel when I write fan club in the subject line of the emails I'm going to send out.
I wasn't raised to blow my own horn, even though I truly felt like it at times. When you are one of six kids, and one of the middle two, you can feel lost easily. Especially when the system you were raised in was geared for survival and not nurture. They didn't know any better, that is the kind of system they grew up in as well.
Is this something that only affects people over 40? Did parents after my generation do a better job? I wonder if my grandkids will have trouble promoting something they have done? I wonder if my kids would? How many generations does it take?
It is amazing to me that after all the lies (false beliefs) I've had healed, after all the work I've done on myself, after feeling so much better and free-er, I still have a hard time asking people to endorse me or my work. Like it is something wrong--something nice girls don't do--something you shouldn't do.
I probably wouldn't have thought of it except a former client sent me an email saying "Put me in your fan club or on your list or whatever it is you have." Wow! I was so surprised and so pleased. Someone actually thinks I have something to say!
How can a person think like that after you've spent three years working on a book that you think is so important? And you are publishing three others... Does anyone relate? Do I really think everyone has to love my work or I'll be crushed? So I can't ask anyone because what if they don't like it? Seriously? I'd better get some more lies healed.