Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Being the favorite child is as bad as being a black sheep.
I wrote about this briefly in my first blog--how being favored can cause you to lose yourself. It was in-my-face again today. There is a certain amount of anxiety in every system. It's greater or lesser depending on how well your parents dealt with the anxiety in their family of origin. So the short explanation is if your parents didn't separate from their parents in a healthy way, and you are their favorite (or the only child), you get all of their anxiety and unresolved issues. You definitely don't want to be an only child if you had unhealthy parents. Neither do you want to be the favorite if your parents weren't raised well themselves, or had things happen that they weren't able, or willing, to face and work through. Your best route now is to face your own short-comings however difficult that is. That way your children won't end up carrying them, and possibly magnifying them.